The legends are true, and the eerie essence of the dreaded finals week is quickly approaching us. Some compare this week to a foreboding of apocalyptic terror, others to a dip in the inferno. It doesn’t matter if you are the ever-prepared A+ student or the sleepwalking C student, this week will bring you face to face with intense academic anxiety. I am a survivor. Follow my steps to success, and you will be a survivor, too.
- Run to Dollar Tree and stock up on ramen and soup. Save your Warrior Dollars for caffeine. Coffee will be your main lifeline.
- Download an app to restrict your Netflix use. Friends will be waiting for you when you finish your exams.
Graphic by Timothy Ethell
- Call your mom on Monday just before mayhem begins. Tell her you love her, that you leave all your Beanie Babies in her possession (just in case finals does the unthinkable to you) and that you’ll call her again when it’s all over.
- Eat three meals every day leading up to and during the week. Your brain will need to be loaded with carbohydrates in order to retain all of your last minute studying.
- Allow yourself five seconds to wave and greet your friends in passing. Any more time stopped may result in dire circumstances such as loss of sleep, study time, and energy.
- Get at least five hours of sleep each night. This is just enough to keep you going for a week and still allow for maximum studying. You can catch up on sleep during Christmas break.
- Take a shower every day. I know it’s easy to push this little hygienic duty off for the sake of 30 more minutes with flash cards and highlighters. But trust me, a shower will refresh your muscles and mind, relax your spirit and bring you energy to keep moving. Plus, smelling clean can’t hurt anything.
- Sharpen plenty of pencils and make sure you have working pens in your backpack. You don’t want to be that kid who asks the professor for a pen on test day. Don’t fool yourself. It doesn’t look good.
- Ask for help if you need it. Be humble. People will run through flash cards or a study guide with you if you ask. In reverse, take a few minutes to help someone else if they ask you. Be a good neighbor.
- Pray. I think this is self-explanatory.
- Thank your professors before you leave.