I lived in Farrar for two years, and during my geeky pedagogy I rose from the ranks of nerd journeyman to a flourishing artisan of electronics and gaming.
This beckons the question: Why? Let me explain. In learning about the fine art of building computers, or cooperatively slaying dragons in the name of some mystical sorcerer that few can pronounce, I found myself attaining life lessons like teamwork, self-sufficiency, and courage. Not only did I slay mighty foes in magical realms, but I built relationships with my nerdy, Farrarian kinsmen.
Thus, I ask you, noble Prewittians, Davidsonmen, Aagardian elves, Gildersmiths, and Balyonians, what say you of your trade-skills?
Since I am a man, I already know of the other manly distractions: sports, girls, wrestling, girls, etc., but what of the ladies on Corban’s campus?
Aye, they do battle on rambling blog sites like stumbleupon.com or pinterest.com. These sites offer endless hours of droning female propaganda fueled by the fires of cute engagement picture ideas, cupcake sprinkles, and just a dash of Ryan Gosling. It’s as if there’s a curse upon these sites wrought by the hands of some evil sorcerer who seeks to drain the life essence of young women. I would even wager to say that these sites waste more time than any WoW playing, Magic the Gathering, LARPing, ultimate discing, hobbit-looking man at Corban has ever wasted. In fact, I would say that these aforementioned manly hobbies evoke fellowship as opposed to making girls into trapped, fairy princesses who are waiting for Ryan Gosling or Gerard Butler to save them from sweat pants, Ben and Jerry’s, Edward Cullen, and a lonesome stumble across the internet.
The usefulness of Pinterest’s “pinteresting” things is greatly limited in any practical sense. Painting toenails and making cupcake serves no real service to society, whereas computer building is a legitimate skill that employers wouldn’t mind having in an applicant. Furthermore, pictures of kittens, candles, and babies, though cute, have no practical application in the real world. Many of the games I play with my Farrarian comrades challenge us to think critically and mathematically, nurturing life skills and brain functions that will serve us the rest of our lives.
Alas, this article isn’t meant to be chauvinistic or self-righteous, but rather a heed of caution to the female demographic of Corban. Just because Pinterest is fashionable, doesn’t mean it serves any purpose beyond slowly killing your eyeballs with rays of the cute and useless emitting from your computer screen. Take a minute or two to learn how to play your boyfriend’s games, or go watch Lord of the Rings until your eyes well up with victory tears.