A word murmured behind closed doors of the dormitories. A word scribbled onto the pages of a well-hidden diary. A word some Corban students would not dare speak out loud.
When did sex become a topic young Christians are afraid to speak of? Sex, which is meant to be something beautiful between a wife and a husband, has become somewhat of a taboo topic in the Corban community.
One student is determined to change that view.
Senior Jordyna Smith, a Creative Writing major, has started the CLT organization “Let’s Talk.”
“Let’s Talk” will be a women’s only group, focusing on – you guessed it – sex.
“Over the years, I’ve been talking to many girls about the topic of sex. It’s a topic I can easily discuss, unlike most people here,” Smith said.
According to Smith, girls she has spoken to say the topic is “awkward” and “uncomfortable” to speak of. Smith says it doesn’t help that there are no classes offered dealing with the topic.
“Girls need a place where they can feel comfortable talking about sex,” Smith said. “There’s not really an opportunity to talk about it at dorm meetings, Bible studies or hall sectionals.”
But, in a private Christian university like Corban, is there really a need for such a place?
Smith says yes. And, statistics agree with her.
A study conducted last year by The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy revealed that 80 percent of “evangelical” young adults, between the ages of 18 and 29, have had sex before marriage. *
Shocking? Perhaps not.
“In a perfect world, sex would occur only within a marriage,” said Smith. But, as she notes and as everyone is aware of, this world isn’t perfect – far from it.
“I’m not stupid. I know, for a fact, that people at Corban are having [pre-marital] sex,” Smith said bluntly.
She added that Brenda Roth, Dean of Students, is “very excited” for this new group and that, according to Roth, there was a group similar to “Let’s Talk” a few years back
“That group focused more on purity. This group will focus more on reality,” said Smith.
The group will meet once-a-week and will be designed so that a different topic will be addressed each time. The topics will vary from STD’s (sexually transmitted diseases) to sexual abuse. But, Smith advocates, if there’s a special request to discuss a certain topic, she would be “more than willing to set down the previous agenda and talk about it.” There will be opportunities for girls to share their personal experiences with each another as well.
A Corban student, who prefers to remain anonymous, shares his enthusiasm for the group, despite being male and unable to attend.
“Hearing that the campus is allowing this group is impressive,” he said. “I’m impressed with this group in general. I think a guy should pick this up and make a similar group for the men.”
“For that to happen, there needs to be a guy who feels as passionately about this as I do,” Smith said.
Both students agree that the possibilities of a group like “Let’s Talk” to form for men are slim. Corban guys, Smith and the anonymous male said, are willing to talk about sex – to an extent. They will “brag about it,” but they “don’t want to deal with what’s wrong about sex before marriage.”
Some students may be interested in the group, but are unwilling to attend or speak up due to fears of what they say being reported to Student Life.
Everything discussed will be kept private and confidential, assured Smith, unless she believes a situation shows cause for alarm. “We have to look for the student’s best interest,” Smith said. “If a student shows signs of being a harm to themselves or someone else, we can arrange for them to meet with Stephanie Husk, the school psychologist.”
Smith would also consider bringing Husk in to the group as a guest speaker if there is a specific topic the group would wish to discuss with a professional.
Smith hopes to cater to the needs of the girls on campus as much as possible and cannot stress enough the importance of this group to all Corban women.
“They need to know! Whether they’ve had experience or not, they need to be able to talk about sex in a place where they can do it without fear or judgment,” Smith said.
“I already have a group of girls who are all really excited to get this group going,” she said enthusiastically. “We’ll be supportive and everything will stay in complete confidence. Plus, we have snacks! Who doesn’t like snacks?”
The first official meeting of “Let’s Talk” will take place this Wednesday, Sept. 12 at 7:30 p.m. at Townhouse 4622.
For more information, contact Jordyna Smith on the group’s official facebook page here or email her at JordynaSmith@corban.edu
*As this study isn’t specific to Corban, the statistics at this school may differ greatly.
Lily fairman says
Great article Lacey! I am excited to see how this step of faith against the current Corban “normal” impacts the student body.
Lacy Ramirez says
Thank you Lily. I am excited as well!
Sarah Gaspar says
Great article- great step forward for Corban. Good luck keeping Student Life out of this…
Great article, Lacey! Well written and extremely needed!
I think this is a wonderful thing to have at Corban. The reality is that Christian girls still make mistakes and need help and support through them. I’m very pleased to see that someone is taking the initiative to start a group that will help girls answer their questions about sex. Sex is a wonderful thing between a man and wife as God intended. But the reality of what sex before marriage can do to a person needs to be discussed in an open meaningful way with Christian girls, both the physical and the emotional problems that can and do arise from not keeping sex in the context that God intended.
I’m not the “anonymous male” lol, but I will say too that I am glad this is going on. It’s definitely a needed thing across all Christian subcultures I think. (Pre marital) sex (and sex in general) is very stigmatized and thus kept very hush hush. For whatever reason it’s one of those sins we feel less comfortable confessing (unlike admitting we’ve lied or “are struggling to read our Bibles or pray very often” as the classic “safe sin” confession of superficial Bible studies often go).
As a (Corban) guy, I did not appreciate the stereotyping that “Corban guys… are willing to talk about sex – to an extent. [And] they will ‘brag about it,’ but they ‘don’t want to deal with what’s wrong about sex before marriage.'” Maybe my male friend group is different than the rest.. and deeper and more authentic. But anyways, just sayin’..
Last comment – I liked this: “Some students may be interested in the group, but are unwilling to attend or speak up due to fears of what they say being reported to Student Life.” This is true and is the unfortunate con of the presence of such rules which accompany attending a Christian University such as Corban. We end up living in fear of sin, shame and guilt rather than in awe, gratitude and thankfulness of Christ’s grace, mercy and forgiveness. We become preoccupied with negatives and avoidance of vices rather than positives and the cultivation of virtue.
Lacy Ramirez says
@Steffan As a Corban girl, I am glad to know that this ‘stereotype’ – that has perhaps been mistakenly created – does not apply to all Corban men. I wanted to clarify that by stating this in the article, it was not my intention to stereotype men and I apologize if the article offended any Corban men.
You also share a great point – that I hope people read – that we, as Christians, do tend to focus more on the negative and that, many times, we let that weigh us down instead of realizing that God’s grace and mercy should lift us up!
Thank you and everyone else, for reading and commenting!
I wish there was a “like” button for some of the comment. Each opinion adds another dimension to the article and I think its awesome!
Alex Tipton - Corban Counselor says
This is a wonderful idea. As a counselor/grad student at Corban, I often find that people want to talk about sex, A LOT. The strange taboo that surrounds it is not only unhealthy, but frankly mind boggling to me. When people become so afraid of the topic of sex they start to get “bad” information, and before you know it, there is a ton of disinformation out there. Sex is a part of life, it should feel safe to talk about and ask questions about.