What your girlfriend really thinks about Fortnite

It’s every girlfriend’s biggest dream to sit, watch or listen to their man win the battle. Your “#1 Victory” posted on Snapchat is what we (as girls) care about most. Knowing that you were able to defeat every other player while you were at the Tilted Towers makes our hearts skip a beat, and our stomachs get butterflies because we are simply so proud of your accomplishments.

We don’t mind staring at our phones for 45 minutes waiting for a text back because you’re about to die and your buddy has to come revive you. We know you only text back because you died, are waiting to be revived or are hiding in a bush. We’ve also heard the SCAR is the best gun in the game, so we would rather have you find it and be safe rather than talking to us. But when we call you, answer! Put us on speaker! Turn up the volume so we can hear what is going on in the game! We will definitely be cheering you on to plant the launch pad to go to the opponents fort.

Don’t forget about the times when we (us girls) are sitting on the couch with you wondering why you need so much wood to build the highest lookout point to snipe someone, because we don’t quite understand. But do not worry; we love listening to you tell your buddy there is a guy at “nine o’clock” or you’ve dropped something for him in the abandoned house down the street. We’re so excited for you to collect your opponent’s loot, but be quick so you don’t get shot down by his teammate.

Yes, we’re definitely paying attention to everything you’re doing. We can’t forget about the times we scroll through Twitter and all we see are Fortnite memes, but don’t you worry. It makes us smile knowing that it’s the game you love so much. No, we don’t want to play with you, but yes, we will watch until you see “#1 Victory” across your screen.

The content in this article is satirical and by no means should be taken seriously.