Are you really slowing down for a rabbit to cross the road? There’s a law that says you have to wear your seatbelt? Why can’t I just pump my own gas? These are things I think about every day.
You might not know this but there’s a place where something beautiful exists. A place where unicorns frolic, rainbows blanket the sky, and the sun shines every day. It’s unfamiliar territory, but I’ll go slow for you. There’s a place where something called freedom exists.
I know; your mind is blown.
While you liberal activists are saving rabbits from the harmful pollution of cars and coal mines, protecting the rights of a subspecies of owls, and generating new ways to add more laws and taxes, some of us are happily shooting things that would give any environmentalist a heart attack.
Most of Corban consists of students from Washington, California, and Oregon. In other words, we’re in the middle of some of the most liberal areas of the United States. The government should just put a barbed wire fence around the Pacific Coast, call it prison, and label it with a warning sign saying, “Do not trespass unless you are going to help the environment, increase debt, and make up ridiculous laws.”
Don’t get me wrong; I love Oregon. I love the beautiful coast, the atmosphere of Portland, the hippie town of Eugene, the all-year round green plants, and the fact that people actually live here. But sometimes I wonder, are all these laws necessary?
I grew up in Montana where the population of cows is higher than the population of the people. It’s a flyover state, I can admit that. Although it is 10 times more interesting than North Dakota. They literally have people who have been known to die from boredom.
We don’t have seatbelt laws or cell phone laws (although they’re bound to come eventually). There’s no sales tax, and the property tax is considered moderate. I got my driver’s license at 15. Any firearm manufactured in Montana that does not leave the state is exempt from all federal laws, including registration.
Like any state, it has its bad qualities. If you despise the outdoors, I suggest sticking to flying over Montana. And if your taste in weather excludes all forms of snow, don’t ever visit Montana from October to April. Also if you want only white friends, visit Montana.
But the thing I didn’t understand when I came to Oregon was why is there a need for so many laws?
Save your money (it’s hard to with the outrageous income tax), take a vacation, and experience that something called freedom. And when you return to your money-vacuum, liberal and outrageous laws, exercise your constitutional rights and vote against crazy laws!
Lauren says
Love this! I’m from Montana too (Missoula). I love it there, and I love our lack of ridiculous laws. Hehe.
A friendly rebuttal says
I know this is meant in a snarky and fun way, but I can’t help but feel a little offended.
Some Oregonians appreciate the extra measures of safety our government offers: cell-phone laws, seatbelt laws, gun laws, and licensing only older teen drivers.
Sure, the environmental laws can be annoying and over-the-top, but Portland’s amazing recycling and compost program is nothing to be scoffed at. God gave us this to earth and asked us to be good stewards of it. He also told us to be respectful of our governing authorities. Sure, the right to destroy or not to destroy the environment isn’t listed in the Bill of Rights, so under the 10th amendment it can be considered free game. However, people who have a voice and care about the city we live in have constitutionally decided to keep those with poor stewardship in check through our “absurd laws”.
I’m totally down with ousting the bureaucracies, voting down the wackier of laws, and making life a bit simpler, but I don’t think that all of environmentalists efforts should be excused so lightly.
And lastly, there are so many laws BECAUSE so many people are voting. These laws didn’t appear over night. They are decisions that were made by the officials we elected, and some of the measures we voted into place ourselves. The voice of the people is being heard, it’s just a voice that is free to give up some personal liberties to make our state a little safer, and a little greener.