Corban sophomore Steffan Bard writes a letter in imitation of C.S. Lewis’ “The Screwtape Letters,” in which the demon Screwtape advises Wormword about ways to tempt a Christian college student. 
Do not worry yourself, my dear Wormwood. Although your patient has enrolled in an institution of education which claims to belong to the Enemy, we can use this to our advantage. We can use numerous techniques to stunt his spiritual growth while he is attending this university. Although they pride their purpose in educating humans in the ways of the Enemy, we may easily thwart their efforts. Polarize him with either spiritual pride and an unshakeable certainty, or lead him on a wild goose chase of reflection to refine and understand the paradoxical Christian principles.
Those who attend these institutions are prone to pride themselves in knowledge. Let them learn, yes, let them learn much. Let them learn to value knowledge of the Enemy over the Enemy himself. Don’t let him realize the limits of mere knowledge – encourage him to feel like he is getting the most out of his money by gaining as much knowledge as he can – granted, as long as his heart and sentiments toward the Enemy remain inert.
Depending on whether he is prone to spiritual pride or contemplation, help your man become thoughtless and proud about the doctrines he’s “learned,” or else paralyze him with his capacity for reflection. If he is prone to do the former, encourage him to “do what’s right whether he feels like it or not.” Encourage him to simply “do his duty” regarding his spiritual practices. Distract him from being a creature more conformed to the image of the Enemy; make him merely do things for the Enemy. At best, he will feel like he is putting the Enemy into debt with his selfless acts of service.
As for the latter type, let him consider his motives all too much. Keep him questioning whether he really wanted to serve the Enemy or if he just was conforming to his Christian subculture. Never allow him any satisfaction in the power and ways in which the Enemy’s spirit refines his motives from the inside out. The ultimate goal, of course, is to render useless both of these two general types of Christians.
There is much sweet delight to be found when the unreflective Christians speak the loudest at the expense of keeping the reflective ones quiet. It is not difficult to persuade the unreflective Christians to be boisterously and foolishly passionate about the certainty they think they have. If your man is one of these, let certainty and security be his god. Instead fearing the Enemy, let him fear his own doubt and honest questions about the Enemy.
As for the contemplative Christians it is slightly more difficult to keep them quiet. They love to write, yes, and let them write. If your man writes, you should satisfy him to keep his thoughts to himself. If his opinions and views are validated by any other outside voice, then you will not be able to get him to shut up. No, you must keep him timid. Marinate your man in this unnerving, fearful and isolating suspicion: I am the only one who thinks this.
Postmodernism is something that your man should fear. Make sure to expose him to as many sermons about objectivity and absolute truth which will cause him to feel guilt for his contemplative tendencies. If the thought that his reflective ways may be a gift instead of a “weakness of faith,” eradicate that thought. Burden him with the illusion that reason is something only atheists use. Influence him to subconsciously believe that reason is the difference between atheists and Christians.
Your affectionate uncle,
Screwtape