Marvel superhero? Been done. Zombie? Too much blood. Frozen? Just let it go. Oct. 31st is already full of clichés; it’s almost worse than Valentine’s Day. This is my third Halloween spent at Corban. I’ve spent most of them the same: went to Chipotle, got a cheap burrito, then crashed with friends and watched scary movies until an ungodly hour in the morning. This year, I’m making the pledge to do something different. Join me! Be a Halloween hipster. To assist you in avoiding doing what everyone else is doing, I’ve created this helpful list of tips:
- Dress as Augustus Waters from "The Fault in our Stars." All this costume needs is a leather jacket, a fake cigarette and a limp. Make sure you spend the evening staring at girls. When they ask you why you’re staring, the correct answer is, “I try not to deny myself the simple pleasures in life.” Depending on your delivery, you’ll either get a phone number or a restraining order. If you are a female, you can dress as Hazel Lancaster, although this will include sitting on a couch all night and mourning about metaphysical concepts like Hamartia and “bigger infinities.”
- Forget Halloween altogether; celebrate Reformation Day instead! To accomplish this, dress in a long brown robe and carry a sheet of labels with only one word on it: Thesis. Make your way around the Basement Bash and stick labels on people until you have posted 95 theses. (If you do not understand this, you have not been paying attention in Theology. Demerits for you!)
- Go to all the dorms and knock on the doors yelling, “Trick or treat!” If they give you candy, remember them so that you can become friends with them and steal more candy.
- Forget the typical blood-fest-chopping-off-limbs-with-a-blender-gore movie and watch the classic 1944 Thriller "Gaslight" after the Basement Bash. Same amount of scares, way less of an urge to throw up.
- Warning! Controversial opinion!* Do not dress as anyone from "Doctor Who" or "Sherlock." Yes, we get it. You have a bow tie and a long coat. Wear it everyday like a normal person.
- Dress as the Ebola virus. The great part about this costume is you don’t even have to show up to any events; just make sure everyone is talking about how scary you are.